Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I adapted this from today's Maureen Dowd.

What to do when things go wrong.

First: Declare any new revelation old and unimportant. “That’s not new news. We’ve handled that already.”
Second: Blame somebody else. Hopefully someone who’s just recently left the company.
Third: Say black is white. “We welcome this loss. It will make our business stronger.”
Fourth: Demonize someone.
Fifth: Blame the victims.
Sixth: Throw gorilla dust. ie Make up a solipsism. “The way to deal with dangerous drug dealers is to get them in therapy and back on the street as soon as possible.”
And finally, seventh: Use the omnipotence defense. As in, “I can’t be wrong because I can’t be wrong.”

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